Guitar Heroics

By Ken Canedo

The other week a friend invited me over to his apartment to try out his new game system. "It's cool, man," he said. "I have Guitar Hero!" Fortunately, on the phone he could not see me roll my eyes.

Just about all gamers have it, and I've watched our parish teens play it during youth group video game nights. I'm glad people have fun with Guitar Hero, but it strikes me as being so . . . fake. I mean, I'm a guitarist, okay? Why should I get excited about strapping on a toy guitar and pushing buttons while a head-banging virtual audience thrashes along? Heck, I have played real guitar with real bands in real arenas before 20,000 real music fans. No way can Guitar Hero compare with the real thing!

But, to humor my friend, I went over and tried his game. "I'll set it on beginner's level for you," my buddy said with what I thought was a slight hint of condescension. "Here's a song you should know: 'Sunshine of Your Love.' "

Hey, Cream is one of my favorite classic rock bands, but there's no need to make it easy for me! Suddenly, the song's signature riff starts playing and off we go!

Red-red-blue-red-blue-blue-blue-red-GREEN-red! Okay, I'm wearing the dinky guitar and pushing the buttons in time to the music. Yawn.

"Dude, you're missing some beats!" What? I looked at the score and he was right. "You gotta be right on top of it," he said with a smirk. I'll show him.

Red-red-blue-red-blue-blue-blue-red-GREEN-red! There!

"Not bad, Kenny. Not bad," my friend said. I think it was a compliment. "Ya wanna try another classic rock song?" More condescension. I scrolled through the selections and stopped at Rage Against the Machine.

" 'Bulls On Parade?' No way, dude!"

"Hit it!" I said, with determination. I'll show him how a real musician plays this game. Rage started thrashing.

"Rally 'round the family! . . . With a pocket full of shells!" My score was very respectable, but my bud still outscored me when it was his turn. He killed me on some Megadeth anthem.

Okay, I admit that there's an appeal to this game that's probably tied to the male bonding/competition thing (although I've seen girls excel at Guitar Hero). And my friend beat me, hands down. But I still get to play in real arenas and he doesn't. So there!

Hey, Robert! Any chance of loading Your Grace Is Enough into this game?